I dont want to fall in love

Why is it so easy for me to fall for someone?
I hate it. I fucking hate it.

I should have not feeling this way
It's stupid and my brain is showing me weird scenarios

I would find myself crying or laughing over those scenarios
disgusting

wanna know why?
because i know it won't be true
it's all just in my head
and my brain is just fooling my heart again

the vivid imaginary of them
i don't want to see it
i wish i could kill my heart
it's handy when your heart is jumping around everywhere over nothing

and brain,
please stop feeding me with those thoughts
i don't want it
it's better for us to live alone
away from everyone

is this what they called loneliness?
what a fucking joke