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I don't know why I'm obsessing about suicide

but thinking about passing 25 scares me

Living my live like a ghost, 

not knowing what I want or what I need

just hoping everything to end

I sound like a broken record

even myself tired of hearing and thinking these things

but the thoughts always coming back

with a pain on my neck

remembering how it felt like to choke myself 

hoping I had the courage to end everything

it's tiring

not even a pain or sadness

just a bitter joke

even when I'm crying it's not because of the pain

it's because I'm sick of this life 

I don't know how many times I've typed this down

it sucks that I have nothing new

I still feel like nothing

it's weird knowing how I was years back

full of emotion and colors

but now everything is just grey