If I die tomorrow

If I die tomorrow, I wished that my body would be burned instead of buried, but that most likely impossible.
If I die tomorrow, I wondered how things would change ,would I just disappear? would I be reborn as someone else, or would I be a ghost that lingers in this world.
if I ended up lingering in this world, I wished to see the wonders I've never seen before. but i'd probably ended up stuck in one place, which is sad.

will I be able to endure the pain?
if God is generous enough, all I wanted was to be happy though I'm not sure how to achieve that.
but the uncertainty is getting into me, I'm done gambling with my life.
I don't want to live this life hence my only option is death.

Maybe deep down I'm hoping that some lights will come to me and release me from this misery, it was just nothing but an empty hope.

If I die tomorrow, I hope I would die without any regret. Just a peaceful and a quiet death, I want to see no tears or hear no scream.
I just want to disappear, and erasing my whole existence.
that would be easier for everyone, right?

As I'm writing this, I'm preparing myself to face the pain I failed to bear long ago. Will I be succeed this time around? Will fortune be finally by my side and set me free from all these unnecessary responsibilities. Am I ready to put my life behind?

I hope the face I make when I die wouldn't be so horrible, and I hope my body won't be too smelly lol. I could picture myself hanging with eyes and mouth wide open, it would be a pretty disturbing picture for anyone to see.

I might not be able to think rationally anymore, everything just won't fall into place. I'm unsure about what the future holds, about what I want to do. I wonder if I can finally forgive everything that had happened, If I can finally let go.

All I can do now is listening to songs that may become my anthem while I'll choke to face death.